Don’t Police My Face! | Collab with Reyna on Beauty Standards
When in the creation of mankind did we get the idea that we were put on this earth to determine how others would live? Where did we get the idea that we needed to seek acceptance from anyone but ourselves? This is what beauty standards do to us.
But that’s the world we live in. We want to control others bodies and preferences and every detail down to what opportunities the other is worthy of.
I write, a lot. On an ongoing basis, I write blogs that encourage others to find inner peace, happiness, and self-love. I urge others to let go of all the negativity that comes with focusing on the wrong things. So that’s what this piece for yolauralikesbeauty will focus on. I’m no makeup expert by any means. I know the difference between fleek eyebrows and not so fleek eyebrows, and I know when makeup isn’t blended right but that’s about it. I’ll leave Laura to teach you all the good stuff 😉
I am an artist and I respect art in all forms. I considered make-up artistry right up there with the rest. Though I wouldn’t spend more than 10 minutes of my own, I appreciate it and it pains me when other choose to tear it down rather than celebrate it or at the very least, focus on their own face.
I was annoyed when the Alicia Keys situation blew up. So she decided to stop wearing makeup, it seemed to bring the connotation that she was BETTER than other celebrities for choosing not to. I wanted to respect it as a bold move for female empowerment and a positive change in beauty standards but the media found a way to spin it an ugly way. Of course, Alicia Keys with her smooth tan skin was an acceptable display of “natural beauty” and often I noticed light traces of “natural” make up on her and I wondered, how would the narrative change if she sported blemishes, dark circles, and barely-there eyebrows.
You are not the epitome of goodness for being natural. I have always been a firm believer that nothing should define the person you are beside the person you are. Not your skin tone, not your sexual orientation, not your body size, not your bank account and DEFINITELY not whether or not you wear makeup.
If I am good at doing makeup, and enjoy it why should anyone else have a say? If I’m not as talented at applying make-up as some of the gurus I see on Instagram, should I feel less beautiful?
Love the skin you’re in and don’t let anyone determine how you feel about the way you choose to live your life and express yourself.
My Face, My Rules
Sometimes we fall into this pattern with significant others. Most men will say they prefer their woman natural, most women would tell you we don’t wear it for the men! I don’t think there’s something wrong with a man loving the natural you and celebrating it, but attempting to police my image will only make me resent you.
I change my look a lot and it feels good when my significant other opens their eyes a little wider in awe at the switch up. I also appreciate when I look a mess and he tells me that is when I am at my best.
But I have been through situations where a guy would try to police my choices and my style based on their own ideals. I would feel guilty when putting on makeup and try to wear as little as possible to avoid the crude remarks. Or I feared what they’d think if I cut my hair or tried something new. It didn’t make me feel any more beautiful in my natural state; instead, it made me want to hide parts of myself from them.
Instead, when I am shown unconditional love, I am more inclined to feel good in my skin, with or without my winged liner.
It’s a tough habit to break through. Judgments sometimes seem to just roll out. “Why is she wearing so much makeup?” “It’s like a mask.” “She could use some concealer and eyeliner honestly” Unfortunately those words have come out of my mouth in the past and it took some self-reflection to break that habit. The habit of feeling superior to other women based on different choices we may make.
We have the right to self-expression however we please. So natural faces and makeup gurus alike, celebrate you, celebrate each other and lets uplift those around us, even if they aren’t the same.
Thanks for reading! 💋